It’s yellow and it sits on the dining room table. His polo hat, of course. I’ve glanced at it several times the last couple of weeks wondering when he’s going to pick it up and take it upstairs. Then it comes to me, he won’t be taking it upstairs. It will stay on top of his honorary graduation diploma until I move it. It’s that way it is with most of Trey’s things. They stay where they are until I move them. Like his clothes, still in his closet.

Jay and I hated the flat-billed NY Yankees hat he bought on a mission trip with the church. I think he and Jimmy Gresham bought them together. I tempted to sneak in his bedroom at night and bend the bill of the cap like his yellow polo hat. When he knew we were going to be in public together, he grabbed the yellow polo hat.

Then there came the issue of wearing the hat backwards. If you’re are going to wear a ballcap, what’s the point of wearing it backwards? Oh, the arguments over that subject. His dad won that argument most of the time. “Turn your hat around son.” That is, of course, until he got into the church and I would see him swish it around backwards and Trey would just grin at me.

I knew the reason he worn the hat to begin with; to flatten his HAIR! Every morning after he wet his hair, on went the cap. “Because my hair won’t stick up Mom!” I had other ideas like non-frizz conditioners, but he wanted his yellow polo hat.

That yellow polo hat would trend into red, blue, orange, pink, khaki, green, all the colors of the rainbow and more. I have been able to let go of a few things, but not his hats. Well, maybe two to some special people. Maybe I’ll put the yellow polo hat next to his autographed Peyton Manning footballs because if there was a fire, I’d grab the hat first, after my wedding photos…and the dogs.

It’s the little things. They carry Trey’s smile, his smell, and for those that knew him, just a sense that he’s just around the corner. I got your hat, Buddy, but it looks better on you. You could always rock some yellow.