Trey, Are you a Goose?

I have loved geese even before Ty came out with Lucy the Goose as a Beanie Baby. It’s just something about how they are graceful in flight and how God specifically placed every feather in its place to make them such beautiful creatures.

It never fails that I will see a flock of geese flying over Highway 385 either to or from work. I’ll never forget one occasion when Trey was in the car with me and I went nuts over the low-flying geese over the car. He didn’t understand my obsession with the fowl. God stepped in and gave us a moment.

I explained to Trey how geese fly in a V formation with the leader in the front. When the goose in the front gets tired, this goose will fall behind and another goose will come up and take the lead. They KNOW to do that! When a goose falls out of the V formation, it feels the resistance of flying alone and realizes it has to get back into formation.

These fowl flap their wings so hard that creates such a force and uplift for the geese to easily fly behind each other. Did you know that when you hear the geese honking it is to encourage the other geese to keep up? Did you also know that when one goose is hurt or goes down, two geese fly down to help protect the goose until the goose is able to fly? So that is why when you see one goose, you’ll see many more.

After telling Trey all these silly little facts, I told him how magnificent it is that God created an animal that we can relate to. When someone in our flock is down, we are there to pick them up. When someone needs encouraging, we are there to call and lift them up. When someone falls behind, we are there to pick up the slack and hold them accountable when they step out of line. He got my love for geese. So every time thereafter when we would see a goose – he would point them out! If you have ever been to the park in front of the Field Museum in Chicago, they are EVERYWHERE! We almost ran through them once. Not a good idea.

When you lose someone, some people look for rainbows or special signs from God that the loved one is still with you. I’m not sure it’s biblical (insert smiley face), but I’d like to think that God would send us glimmers of “I’m with you” in a form that we understand, like geese. Since Trey died, it’s been too coincidental.

Sending Collin off for homecoming was actually difficult. I told Jay I didn’t have a good feeling about it. We were standing in Marti Ponton’s cove and you are not going to believe this, but a flock of geese flew over. I just began to cry. Thank goodness a friend, Rhea Douglas, was standing there. I’m not sure she totally understood, but she was very comforting. Trey was 15 in October of 2011 when he went to his big homecoming at Houston (where you see all the cute pictures) with Julianne. Four months later in February of 2012, we were at St. Jude. Collin is 15 and going to his first homecoming. It was all a little too emotional. October 14 we will spend all day at St. Jude with Collin for his checkup. (As a P.S. and I wasn’t going to jump on this subject earlier, this is why the mothers at St. Jude were upset about the rescheduling of their appointments when Mrs. Obama was here. It is a very emotional time for the parents and the patients. You think about this appointment for months, weeks, days in advance anticipating what the outcome of tests will be for your child. Child first.)

When the geese flew over, I pointed them out to Collin and he said, “I know, I saw them.” He also knows my love for geese. And I looked at him and I told him, “It’s Trey.” It might not have been Trey. But it might have been a way for me to be able to let my son drive away in a car to a dance that HE said he wasn’t going to dance. When he got home – we heard a different story. Unfortunately, he was danced ON. Welcome to the world, son.

I just pray that Collin will be as a goose. When he steps out of line, he will feel the resistance of the wind and will get back in line with the flock of God. When he feels like he needs to step back, there will be friends (in his squad) that will be there to pick him up and encourage him. Most of all, I pray he feels God is in the front of his V formation leading him with a little honking from the Holy Spirit.

7 thoughts on “Trey, Are you a Goose?

  1. Such a beautiful post! I was in Orange Beach last week and ran into a lady who looked like you….I have never met you, but maybe one day I will. I was so excited and asked this lady if her name was Ms. Erwin and she said from Missouri? And I said no from Tennessee….you are a blessing to many people that you have never even met! Continuing to keep you in my prayers….

  2. I am absolutely touched by this! I read every one of your posts, keeping you and your family in my prayers. I have never met you, and I have only waved to Jay one time when he was leaving the fire station. My husband, Jeff, works with Jay. There are still reminders of Trey around our house – t-shirts, a bracelet, and pictures that we had done from a photo shoot that was a fundraiser for Trey. Just wanted you to know we think of you often.

  3. I saw a flock of geese yesterday as I was leaving work. I looked up and thought of Trey and your family. Every time a see a butterfly I think of a little boy named Shea who passed away from cancer and say “Hey Shea” and now every time I see geese I’ll think of Trey. 🙂

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