Well, I remember sitting at St. Jude 3 years ago watching fireworks on TV while you tried to sleep. I remember being so upset as I watched local news and fireworks into the night and wondered how could so many be celebrating when we knew you didn’t have much time left. Yet there your dad and I sat, alone in that room with you with our glow bracelets.
Tomorrow will be another hard day without you. I can’t explain my heart to anyone. I pray for Jesus to come back everyday so my heart will be whole again. And we’ll be a family again. I know God has so many things to do before that time.
I’ve read so many books and talked to so many preachers about you in heaven. I’ve received so many different answers and I really have conflicting thoughts on what the bible says. Hebrews 12:1 talks about “a great cloud of witnesses” and in a book I read by Randy Alcorn, he seems to think you can see me. If you can, you would see how sad I am. I remember when you broke down with me twice and both times it was because you were worried about us after you were gone. I guess you had a right to worry even though I told you not to worry.
I just didn’t know what we were going to face. Now I’m trying to help others and be honest with them and prepare them before their children leave them. It’s a nightmare buddy. A dream I wish you would walk in and wake me up from. Instead, I just don’t get much sleep at all.
Since the last time I wrote, we have a new church family. We are at Central now and Collin has spread his wings. We needed this. I miss our GBC friends, but buddy, we are being loved and they are crying with us and you are still there. I’ve been saying for months, it doesn’t matter where you worship, we are all one body of Christ. We’ll ALL be in heaven together one day!
Remember how I laid next to you in bed and whispered about all our vacations, well we went back to Hawaii. I saw you in everything. I hope in that deep sleep before you went to Jesus you heard everything I whispered to you because I couldn’t take it if you didn’t know just how much I love you and was going to miss you.
Tomorrow, when we sing The Stand, my mind will go back to so many times I watched you worship with your hands in the air in praise to God. My promise is that during worship I will be one with God and you in praise as we sing 10,000 Reasons, The Stand, and prayers for Anna Wakefield as she sings your request for your celebration Your Great Name at GBC tomorrow.
When asked in Hawaii on a tour if there was one person I could have dinner with who would it be…I said you.
“Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” From Wicked, your favorite Broadway musical. I wish everyone would have been able to know your tender, true heart for the Lord and the love for your family and friends. I’ve been changed because I knew you, my son.