Cancer and the Bumble Bee

February 12, 2025 / livingthelifeofchrist / Leave a comment

I have always been afraid of bumble bees. Really, any kind of bee. Who wants to be stung by a bee! I’ve thought many times, God, why bees? It’s like a mosquito! What good are you except to bite me and make me itch. I have many sleepless nights where my mind wonders and after my trip to Philly, I began to think about the bumble bee. What are you good for, bumble bee? And why am I thinking about you.

I recently traveled to Philadelphia with Ashley McCrary (she lives in Auburn, Alabama now) for her 189^th treatment at Thomas Jefferson Hospital for ocular melanoma. Ashley and I have a long history together, which is for another day. As we were sitting in her treatment room, Lee, the art therapist, came in. Ashley asked me what I wanted to color. I laughed because SHE is the artist, and I can barely draw stick figures with my essential tremors. I began, for some odd reason, to tell her of the story about my first day back to work after Trey died. I sat at my desk and drew a bumble bee on a 2 x 3-inch sticky note ALL DAY LONG. I was looking at a monthly calendar my sister gave me that had the cutest (if they can be cute) bumble bee hovering over daisies. As I was telling Ashley this story, she was scrolling on her phone and I thought, you aren’t even listening to me…until she showed me a picture on her phone and said, “Like this?” My heart sank and became full at the same time. “Yes! Just like that!” She told Lee, we are drawing the bumble bee and the flowers. Of course, she was coloring, getting treatment, talking to nurses, doctors, etc. all at the same time while I was in a corner concentrating on drawing grass! Our little bee portraits turned out unique and very special.

Before traveling to Philly, I had thought what a great time it was going to be to CARE for Ashley during her treatment. Afterall, I am a caregiver. I envisioned hailing taxis, lots of conversation while resting, some tears, covering her with a blanket as she slept, getting her medication, diet cokes and crackers for nausea, and being prepared for the aftermath of the treatment itself; maybe even snuggling afterwards to ward off any waves of nausea while watching sports (we love all things SEC). (I do have a picture of her sleeping for just 45 minutes.) Those that know Ashley well and have traveled with her are probably laughing knowing this is NOT at all how Ashley rolls.

Without going into full detail of our trip, those that have traveled with Ashley know you travel with HER. I have not expressed this to her yet, but I left feeling very defeated. I wanted to help care for her in any small way, and I do not feel like I did that. If anything, SHE poured into me (and we even got our toes done!). I distinctly remember her telling me the story of Dave’s new company (her husband). The scripture they cling to for his company is Eph. 3:20:

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.”

In listening to events that have happened over the last 9 to 10 years since we last saw each other, this scripture is very appropriate. Ask in faith, rely on Him, and He will make it come to pass under His will. Later that evening at dinner, we were walking to the lobby of the restaurant, and the stories of the evening with friends were rolling around in my head. I abruptly stopped, turned to Ashley and grabbed her shoulders (and scared her to death) and said, “Trey died at 3:20!” We hugged and cried. I know, one has really nothing to do with the other. But for me, God was speaking to me so clearly. Why???

I remember Ashley saying at some point during the trip that she did not know why God had put us together on the trip. Why did God put it so heavy on me that I MUST go with her when we had not really conversed in almost 10 years. While she was having treatment, so many medical personnel came and went from her room. Each time, she would look at me and say, “Lisa, tell them about Jay.” When I would give a brief synopsis, they would nod understanding what I was telling them, even to the point of saying, “Oh, that’s the P-16 gene.” YES! Someone knows! Mutant Melanoma! And information began to flow in my direction, unbelievable knowledge.

I think back to the bumble bee. Do you know that they beat their wings over 200 times a SECOND – faster than the nerve impulses to their muscles can fire. AND THEY STILL CAN’T FLY! Their bodies are so heavy, they can’t get very far off the ground. Their little wing muscles must be 86 degrees (to 111 degrees) to get them into the air. That will get the bee to the closest “flower cafeteria” for them to pollenate. They help pollenate flowers, fruit, and vegetables which we eat every day! Oh, God, your creations are so intricate. The bumble bee is a hard worker, and they are the lesser aggressive bee than any other. Heard the saying – busier than a bee? This is because they symbolize focus, teamwork, fertility, generosity, and prosperity! This is your bumble bee lesson for the day.

Knowing all this information, God laid it on my heart how much Ashley is like the bumble bee. I’m not inferring that she is heavy and can’t get off the ground! 😊 She doesn’t need to because she touches everyone around her; family, friends, uber drivers, hotel workers, and anyone that sits next to her on an airplane. They will be blessed by her testimony and I cannot express what a blessing it was to see God at work through her in just three days.

Buzz on, my friend. God is using you to fertilize the word of God in so many lives. The drawings of our bees are so special to me. The one she colored is hanging in my office to remind me that in whatever circumstance – cancer, job loss, financial difficulty, remain diligent and work hard where God has planted you.

Have cancer? Be a bumble bee and spread God’s word. I love you, Ashley McCrary. Our story is still being written.

A Rainy Day…

October 27, 2023 / livingthelifeofchrist / Leave a comment

I often tell Jay I think we are over-insured. When he left Baptist Tipton, Baptist Minor Med, Baptist ER, and I left Burch, Porter & Johnson, the life insurance we had provided portability (very important). It was a no-brainer to opt to take the insurance with us without a significant increase in premium. Jay’s ability to be insured at this point is, well is nil to none.

Jay and I invested in our first life insurance plans as a young family in 1995, one year before Trey was born. I watched my mother struggle after my father passed away because they did not have adequate life insurance. There was no “college fund.” I knew I did not want to ever struggle like my mother. I found it odd that my parents invested in burial insurance policies and not LIFE insurance policies. Those policies were eventually bought out by other companies and their value decreased to a very small cash amount. It did not hurt my feelings when my mother turned the cash over to me at 20 years old. I thought I had come into some money! (Not.)

As most of you know, if you have insurance or are in the insurance business, premiums tend to skyrocket each year; health and life. I’m so thankful that 25 plus years ago we took out policies that provided for us after Trey died. We are still holding a few policies that are not providing a great benefit, but I am too afraid to let them go. How many of you are contacted by your broker telling you that you need to have an annual review of your insurance and retirement benefits? Even though those calls, emails, and texts are annoying, I still know that I need to meet with a financial advisor about our insurance and retirement. “You know you need to plan for a rainy day!” Yes, I know. I feel I have already experienced a few floods.

I heard something on The Message XM Radio last week that made me think about our insurance situation.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!” Ps. 91:1-2

What do you think of when you hear shadow? The psalmist refers to the “shadow” of God. In literal terms, a shadow provides little protection, itself. The imagery, however, is of someone who is close enough, and protected enough, that the shadow of their protector is on them.

That’s when the radio announcer mentioned that God is our insurance. BAM!!

In reading Psalms, I never thought of God being my insurance. We purchase insurance today so that if we are injured, hospitalized, or even in the event of death, we are provided for – protected. Christ’s death on the cross provided us with insurance for eternity. How do premiums come into the picture, I thought. Premiums are usually paid monthly, at least in our case. Just as premiums pay for the insurance of protection, being a Christian sometimes comes at a cost. All you have to do is watch the news, work in a toxic environment, remain in a hostile marriage, or suffer from a terminal illness – they all come with a cost of testing your faith.

I am thankful for the shadow of protection God provides – just as I am the life insurance I pay for monthly. In either situation, I know my future is secure. I know the value of my life will not decrease as long as I trust in my Savior. A wise young boy once said, “I’ll either be healthy in heaven, or healthy on earth. Either way, I know I’ll be okay.”

Have you invested in insurance? We are all insurable by God, but it’s a choice. You don’t have time to waste, my friend.

When Circumstances Change

June 1, 2023June 1, 2023 / livingthelifeofchrist / Leave a comment

June 1, 2023. It has slipped up on us all. SUMMER is here, kids are out of school, and families are going on vacation. There was a time when I was so excited about summer, even though kids were going from one sport camp to another, VBS (either attending or helping), church camp, or scouting trips – with weekends spent at my sister’s pool. How do things change so quickly?

During those years of hustle and bustle, I NEVER thought about a change in the life I had planned for my family. We would always go on family vacations, spend weekends at the pool, including holidays with laughter, hamburgers, and hot dogs. We still have the hamburgers and hot dogs, but somehow, the laughter is missing.

Over the last 28 years, I can say our faith has not wavered, definitely tested, but not wavered. December of 1995 is when Jay was first diagnosed with cancer. I can promise you that it has not slowed him, much to my frustration. His next treatment is next Thursday, and if he didn’t have to work on Friday, he would. He never slows down. His BROTHER did not slow down – he had goals (basketball, high school, college) while battling cancer. Jay’s FATHER still came to watch the boys practice football during his treatments. There is a pattern here. I firmly believe Trey learned from watching his dad, his papaw, and hearing about his uncle. Trey had goals in the midst of his battle. I remember someone asking me at the time why he had a bucket list. That bucket list kept him going. Also, as a result, I see so much maturity in my Collin at age 23.

Over the last year, I have felt myself slip into a depressive state because I have been dealing with an ankle that will not heal after a tendon tear, two surgeries, and soon to be my 7^th (no, 8^th) cast. Food, television, and a scooter have become good friends of mine. Even during this time, I have been praying for friends that have been suffering from circumstances much worse.

This morning, I noticed in my devotion (which was Trey’s), I had written at the bottom of the page I was praying for the Troike family (Yes, I misspelled Troike). Wyatt was a friend of Collin’s at Collierville and was a patient of St. Jude at the time. Believe it or not, I have never been one for journaling, so the fact that I noted this prayer for the family struck a chord. I am sure at the time, they were struggling with the unknown. It prompted me to jot down who I had prayed for on the way to work. EACH of them are walking a similar path our family has walked…cancer. But we have always known God is in control, His sovereignty, and He is definitely in the details of our circumstances.

Eleven years ago, our circumstances changed with Trey during his battle with cancer. We were told by his doctors his chemo had stopped working and it would be a matter of time. I remember asking, “A matter of time for what?” Even years later, my heart still sinks remembering being told Trey may have until September (2012). I would have never thought he would be gone in a month. But in that one month, he had several procedures that enabled him to make it to the beach with the church and an extended family vacation. There were plans to change his chemo after his return from the beach. That was not God’s plan. This coming month will be another difficult time of reflection.

Whether you are facing cancer or similar circumstance to make you feel defeated, do not let Satan control how you handle the situation. He will manipulate you towards loneliness and entice you down a path of darkness that will not help you when the going gets tough. Well, tougher. Like our Pastor has said, and I paraphrase, “If you aren’t going through tough times now, you will.” We may not know the outcome of our circumstances, but we DO know the guide!

If you need to be encouraged in your current circumstances, I urge you to get the book by Coach Mike O’Neill – Don’t Back Down (on Amazon and in local Collierville stores). Its content is filled with laughter, tears, struggles, uncertainty, hope, but mostly with the Holy Spirit.

Read the scripture again – I heard, but I did not understand. So I asked, “My Lord, what will the outcome of all this be?” Daniel 12:8 I don’t think we will know this side of Heaven. Right now, I’m okay with that and I’m learning to pivot as my circumstances change. Thank you, Ross Geller – character from Friends – PIVOT, PIVOT, PIVOT!