I am a creature of habit. There is not a day that goes by that I do not check my Timehop app on my phone or look at my memories on Facebook. Some may think I am dwelling on the past. Believe it or not, the past holds sweet memories that help me get through the tough days of the present.
Today on Timehop, I discovered several memories that just touched my heart revolving around my children. Doesn’t everything revolve around our children? Collin returned from Kia Kima (scout camp) 13 years ago very sick. After taking him to the doctor, we were told he had pneumonia. He was such a sick little boy and I was scared out of my wits. Even our Labrador Retriever knew something was wrong and didn’t leave his side in our bed. Collin’s remarks stick in my head, “I told you I was sick.” Yes, you did. I learned to listen, listen to him and to my instinct as a mother.
Nine years ago, Bretta Cochran and Kari Coudriet returned Collin and Trey’s best friends to Memphis from New Orleans after learning Trey would possibly have a life-altering surgery. Trey wasn’t going to face this possibility without his brother at home (or his best friends). What do you do first? You build a fort, of course. I have no idea why this was on Trey’s bucket list, but it was. Once everything was built, Trey, his brother, and his friends crawled under the blankets, played video games, and told Trey about the mission trip. There was a lot of laughter, exhausted kids, and plenty of donuts from Paula Williams. If walls could talk.
Collin had his first appointment today at West Clinic. I was told that only one person could go with Collin, so I volunteered Jay since he is also a patient and knows the ropes. It absolutely ripped me up inside to not be able to be with Collin, to take care of my little boy. As Dr. Tauer said, you aren’t a little boy anymore, you are a man, and we will proceed however you feel comfortable. Collin agreed to move forward however Jay and I thought best.
Dr. Tauer explained to Collin the importance of preventative treatment when you have a hereditary cancer gene. I cannot count the number of times Dr. Tauer repeated himself to Collin saying, “I know this is so much for you to handle and I just can’t imagine how you are doing it.” I wanted to jump in the conversation and brag on how the little pneumonia boy whose brother died of cancer has grown into a strong (handsome, I might add) young man. He is tough, hard-working, independent, but still knows he needs his mom and dad. Did I mention he is handsome?
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12
With all of the yesterdays and todays rolled together, Jay and I have learned not to depend on the promises of tomorrow. I never imagined this would be my life. You think you have learned from mistakes, planned for your future, and sometimes God shuts the door on your plans and dreams. Do we stop dreaming because God changed the direction? Absolutely not. We still build a fort because it is on our bucket list. We still plan on our trip to the Mediterranean because it is our dream cruise. God doesn’t close the door on our lives, only things we pray are not under His will. He wants us to hold our plans and dreams loosely so that He can work through them.
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Ps. 37:4
God is in the smallest and largest of details. If we will only listen to the still, small voice in our spirit, He is faithful to reveal a glimpse of the blueprint for our lives. If I would have seen that blueprint 10 years ago of what our future would hold, I would have been tempted to beg God to change His direction for our lives to avoid the pain and sorrow. Oh, BUT GOD! He knew I would not be the strong person I am today without yesterday. That also goes for Jay and Collin. It gives me HOPE for tomorrow. Our frustrations of today should be our pleas to God for a different tomorrow. I have a friend going through a very difficult medical situation and all I can promise her is that He DOES hear! What our tomorrow will be, only He knows. I cannot imagine not being able to rest in His hands.
Yesterday…Today…Tomorrow; sweet memories to cherish, opportunities to grow and learn, and promises only God can give for what is best for our lives. Simply put…faith changes everything.
“1. Remember, Jesus overcame even death. Whatever seems worst to us now is, in fact, surmounted by Jesus eternally. Even death is no match for our Savior.
2. Know that God is with us in the midst of pain. While we wait for a problem to resolve itself tomorrow, Christ demonstrates His comfort now. We are reminded to make Jesus the object of our longing today. His “yes” isn’t as important as His presence.
3. Entrust tomorrow to Jesus. Jesus wants our trust. He makes many promises beginning with “I will” (future tense). Do we believe God when He says “I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am”? (John 14:3) When Christ says “you may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it,” (John 14:14) can we rest in that right now? Yes we can.” Candace Lucey