Author: livingthelifeofchrist

My Promise.

/ livingthelifeofchrist / 1 Comment

Day 30. My Promise.

About a month ago I was contacted by Daphne Kirk who has followed our journey since Trey’s diagnosis. She is from the UK and asked if I would be willing to tell our story on her podcast, Radical Lifestyle, with her son.

I find it NO coincidence that Daphne sent me the podcast today and said it was on the web. What an honor to share Trey’s story around the world for Christ.

My promise? I will continue to tell of his courageous battle against pancreatic cancer, bring awareness, and tell of his devotion to the Lord. Always.

“Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give.”
‭‭Hebrews 4:14-16

Thank you, Daphne Kirk, for letting me share about my boys!

encouragementchallenge

    Yesterday…Today…Tomorrow

    / livingthelifeofchrist / 2 Comments

    Yesterday…

    I am a creature of habit. There is not a day that goes by that I do not check my Timehop app on my phone or look at my memories on Facebook. Some may think I am dwelling on the past. Believe it or not, the past holds sweet memories that help me get through the tough days of the present.

    Today on Timehop, I discovered several memories that just touched my heart revolving around my children. Doesn’t everything revolve around our children? Collin returned from Kia Kima (scout camp) 13 years ago very sick. After taking him to the doctor, we were told he had pneumonia. He was such a sick little boy and I was scared out of my wits. Even our Labrador Retriever knew something was wrong and didn’t leave his side in our bed. Collin’s remarks stick in my head, “I told you I was sick.” Yes, you did. I learned to listen, listen to him and to my instinct as a mother.

    Nine years ago, Bretta Cochran and Kari Coudriet returned Collin and Trey’s best friends to Memphis from New Orleans after learning Trey would possibly have a life-altering surgery. Trey wasn’t going to face this possibility without his brother at home (or his best friends). What do you do first? You build a fort, of course. I have no idea why this was on Trey’s bucket list, but it was. Once everything was built, Trey, his brother, and his friends crawled under the blankets, played video games, and told Trey about the mission trip. There was a lot of laughter, exhausted kids, and plenty of donuts from Paula Williams. If walls could talk.

    Today…

    Collin had his first appointment today at West Clinic. I was told that only one person could go with Collin, so I volunteered Jay since he is also a patient and knows the ropes. It absolutely ripped me up inside to not be able to be with Collin, to take care of my little boy. As Dr. Tauer said, you aren’t a little boy anymore, you are a man, and we will proceed however you feel comfortable. Collin agreed to move forward however Jay and I thought best.

    Dr. Tauer explained to Collin the importance of preventative treatment when you have a hereditary cancer gene. I cannot count the number of times Dr. Tauer repeated himself to Collin saying, “I know this is so much for you to handle and I just can’t imagine how you are doing it.” I wanted to jump in the conversation and brag on how the little pneumonia boy whose brother died of cancer has grown into a strong (handsome, I might add) young man. He is tough, hard-working, independent, but still knows he needs his mom and dad. Did I mention he is handsome?

    Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12

    Tomorrow…

    With all of the yesterdays and todays rolled together, Jay and I have learned not to depend on the promises of tomorrow. I never imagined this would be my life. You think you have learned from mistakes, planned for your future, and sometimes God shuts the door on your plans and dreams. Do we stop dreaming because God changed the direction? Absolutely not. We still build a fort because it is on our bucket list. We still plan on our trip to the Mediterranean because it is our dream cruise. God doesn’t close the door on our lives, only things we pray are not under His will. He wants us to hold our plans and dreams loosely so that He can work through them.

    “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Ps. 37:4

    God is in the smallest and largest of details. If we will only listen to the still, small voice in our spirit, He is faithful to reveal a glimpse of the blueprint for our lives. If I would have seen that blueprint 10 years ago of what our future would hold, I would have been tempted to beg God to change His direction for our lives to avoid the pain and sorrow. Oh, BUT GOD! He knew I would not be the strong person I am today without yesterday. That also goes for Jay and Collin. It gives me HOPE for tomorrow. Our frustrations of today should be our pleas to God for a different tomorrow. I have a friend going through a very difficult medical situation and all I can promise her is that He DOES hear! What our tomorrow will be, only He knows. I cannot imagine not being able to rest in His hands.

    Yesterday…Today…Tomorrow; sweet memories to cherish, opportunities to grow and learn, and promises only God can give for what is best for our lives. Simply put…faith changes everything.

    “1. Remember, Jesus overcame even death. Whatever seems worst to us now is, in fact, surmounted by Jesus eternally. Even death is no match for our Savior.

    2. Know that God is with us in the midst of pain. While we wait for a problem to resolve itself tomorrow, Christ demonstrates His comfort now. We are reminded to make Jesus the object of our longing today. His “yes” isn’t as important as His presence.

    3. Entrust tomorrow to Jesus. Jesus wants our trust. He makes many promises beginning with “I will” (future tense). Do we believe God when He says “I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am”? (John 14:3) When Christ says “you may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it,” (John 14:14) can we rest in that right now? Yes we can.” Candace Lucey

    A Different Perspective – Mother’s Day

    / livingthelifeofchrist / Leave a comment

    Mother’s Day Post from Lisa Erwin

    I am honored West Cancer Center asked me to write about Mother’s Day from a different perspective.

    One person not mentioned in my article is Barry Erwin, Jay’s brother, who passed away from cancer in December 1996. Collin Erwin, my sweet boy, is named after his uncle Barry. We miss you Barry, another part of the Erwin generation taken by cancer. God gave me a mother-in-law who loves the Lord. We walk together on this journey and she is my praying guide. I’m blessed.

    Lisa Erwin

    The Erwin family has three generations of cancer in their family, all linked to a rare genetic mutation. Their oldest son Trey passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2012, and his mom Lisa continues to fight to keep his memory alive while being there to support her younger son Collin.

    “On Mother’s Day each year, I am reminded of the undeniable role of actually being two mothers. I am a grieving mother to a son who no longer bursts in my door with a smile that lit up a room. I am also a mother to a son who is striving to find himself while dealing with the heaviness of loss, doctors, tests, and the reality of what the future might hold.”

    Lisa and her family are passionate about supporting the fight against cancer and the need for new and more effective treatment options. “Funding for cancer research is so important. Without research, there would be no hope for Collin.”

    How do you prepare yourself for this Hallmark holiday we call Mother’s Day? Some of us are members of a club we never volunteered for when our child was diagnosed with cancer. Most of us share the pain and emptiness Mother’s Day brings, even while celebrating our own mothers. This day has been very bittersweet since my son, Trey, passed away in July 2012 from pancreatic cancer. Honestly, it is a day my grief is a little heavier than most days.

    Mother’s Day note from Lisa’s son Trey in 2012

    The last Mother’s Day with Trey was spent in Hawaii, his paradise. I remember waking up that morning with an envelope next to my bed. “Mom” I opened it to find a notebook piece of paper saying, “Happy Mother’s Day, I love you thisssss much! Trey.” He enclosed a picture of the two of us from the VOLS Orange and White football game we attended in Knoxville a couple of weeks prior.

    Photo enclosed with Trey’s note

    That “love phrase” is what we always said to each other. That was the last text he was able to read on July 5, 2012, “I love you thissss much! Mom.” I knew he was desperately trying to read the massive amount of texts he was receiving after we let the public know that he would not be with us much longer.

    Many mothers mourn on Mother’s Day. Sadness overtakes the joy of celebrated motherhood and we long to hold our children that we have lost to a cruel cancer. The friends of our children are growing up, going to college, getting married, having children, and Trey forever remains 15 years old. There are days that I sink to the floor in tears with grief because this reality hits me so hard. And honestly, I’m trying to reel in a little “unfairness” towards Collin too.

    Just because I lost Trey does not mean I suddenly stopped being a mother to my youngest son, Collin. Just in the last month Collin has become a patient at West because he turned 21 in July of 2020. St. Jude knew it would be best that he is followed closely by West Cancer Center since he carries the same mutant melanoma gene as Trey. It has taken me over nine months to pick up the phone and make the call for an appointment. As a mother, if I didn’t make him go, then maybe the gene would go away and there would be no cancer in Collin’s future. I know in this mama’s heart I cannot take that chance. I believe sometimes the children left behind are loved so fiercely, it’s hard to let them fly.

    On Mother’s Day each year, I am reminded of the undeniable role of actually being two mothers. I am a grieving mother to a son who no longer bursts in my door with a smile that lit up a room. I am also a mother to a son who is striving to find himself while dealing with the heaviness of loss, doctors, tests, and the reality of what the future might hold.

    Throughout the day, I’m sure I will not be able to resist scrolling through the sea of photos on social media of mothers with their children, young and old, and wonder was there something I missed; a drug or treatment we didn’t pursue; or, my failure as a mother to do everything in my power to help Trey survive. Do not misunderstand. A mother’s faith is not weak due to continual grieving of her child.

    I know cancer did not define Trey, his purpose and faith in God directed him. Cancer did not define his grandfather, Jerry, does not define my husband, Jay, and WILL NOT define or deter Collin’s future. Three generations of West Cancer Center patients. We are forever indebted to Dr. Kurt Tauer for his love, honesty, and support for the past 26 years of this familial cancer journey. My prayer is that with West Cancer Center’s help, I will continue to have many more Mother’s Days with Collin. I will remain faithfully by his side as he endures each scan, endoscopy, and doctor’s appointment praying God would spare him.

    I will remain ever hopeful that advances in cancer research will lead for better treatment options and better outcomes for other families like mine. I will continue to work to support the work of West Cancer Foundation and raise funds to fuel innovative research to find cures for this terrible disease. Without funding for research, there might not be hope for Collin.

    I have said many times, the biggest fear a mother has is that after the death of their child, their child will be forgotten. Every mother who has lost a child deeply desires for others to say their child’s name. For someone else on Mother’s Day, your purpose might be to say their child’s name and acknowledge them as their wonderful mother. This Mother’s Day will not be lost without thinking how many people still greet me by saying, “I know you. Are you Trey’s mother?” My proud reply, “Why yes! Yes I am.” My purpose as a mother…fulfilled. I will enjoy Mother’s Day with my Collin, but in the meantime, I know Trey is enjoying paradise with Jesus and knows his mama loves him thisssss much.

    Acknowledging all who have loved and lost on this Mother’s Day.

    -Lisa Erwin

    The Erwin family at the beach in 2012, one week to the day before Trey passed away from cancer

    Lisa with her sons Trey and Collin in Hawaii, Mother’s Day 2012

    Day 100 Thursday. Girls.

    / livingthelifeofchrist / 5 Comments

    When Jay and I started thinking about having children 25 plus years ago, we knew we wanted boys. We both were raised loving and participating in sports, so we both wanted as many boys as God would allow.

    As most know, God had a special plan for our boys. They played sports, were involved in scouts, school activities, but most of their time was spent at church. It wasn’t anything special we did as parents. It was just our way of life. If there was Sunday School, they went; children’s choir, they went; youth events, lock-ins, mission trips, summer trips, choir tours, you name it, they went.

    I asked Trey when he entered middle school how he would feel about me teaching Sunday School. He didn’t care at all. Most kids would cringe if their parents were involved in any activity they were affiliated with. Not my boys.

    I began teaching 6th grade girls (remember Andrea Lindsey?). So Andrea, whenever you were in 6th grade was when I stepped into the youth department at Germantown Baptist. I thought, I’ll just help and take roll. That’s not exactly what God had planned.

    I began teaching 9th grade with Kerri Flowers. I fell in love. I fell for a group of girls struggling to find their way in a world with darts from Satan coming from every side. They became my girls.

    Little did I know what God had in store for MY future! God would turn those I taught into young women of God who married Christian men and NOW having their own children. Jay and I have walked through many dark days and we have been covered in love by our girls on many occasions.

    Last night I had dinner with three of my girls. Missed Leighton Newman Bond! Katie Beth Jordan (who just happened to marry Trey’s best friend, Cody) brought baby Hayes with her and I got to snuggle with one of the next generation of God’s little children.

    After losing Trey, my heart was so empty. Each day these girls have filled our lives. They have included us in their walk with the Lord, getting married, many house moves, and having babies. We’ve laughed and we have definitely cried.

    Last nights at dinner as we were joking about how I was determined to have boys, I received the most heart-warming compliment. Madison said, “You thought you wanted boys and now you have girls!”

    Jay and I cannot express how much we love these little families. What a blessing to watch God grow their lives into so many dreams they have for their future, just like we did.

    “Train up a child (or teenager) in the way she should go; even when she is old she will not depart from it.” Prov. 22:6

    Obviously I added teenager and changed the pronoun. It speaks to something I have mentioned many times. If you have the opportunity to invest in the lives of young people, do it! You WILL be blessed in abundance! Tomorrow night (Friday), Madison, Julianne and I will be together to worship with Natalie Grant. If you see me walking on clouds, this is why! Praising God with my girls…I can’t think of a better way to spend my Friday night!

    Pictured Madison Young Korthoff, Me, Katie Beth Hopkins Jordan, and Julianne Shiles Snider

    Anxiety…I see you.

    / livingthelifeofchrist / 4 Comments

    We are all living busy lives, even in a Covid-19 world. Our children do not have a normal routine and are having to alternate school days (if they go at all). Our jobs are in a fluctuating state of working remote to being in the office for longer hours. Week to week we have to make the decision to attend church because of Covid-19 exposure, with many choosing to worship via streaming. And then there is the weather! I think you would all agree that finding “our norm” is very difficult.

    Unfortunately, our bodies suffer from the day-to-day life that we have now created. For me, most know that I suffer from chronic, severe migraines. Saturday started my latest battle of trying to determine what was the best course of medication before going for the big guns. I felt some chest pressure and thought I had congestion and chalked it up to my sinuses. With the weather front moving in, I know many have been having the same issues I have.

    Sunday morning it hit full blown. I was determined to not let it put me to bed for the rest of the day. Fortunately, after taking many different prescribed medications, my headache began to ease. In place of my migraine came anxiety. A full blown anxiety attack.

    If you have ever experienced an anxiety attack, you will know exactly what I am about to tell you. Remember, panic attacks and anxiety attacks are different. Panic attacks will usually come and go within 10 to 30 minutes. Anxiety can last for days.

    The elephant in the room had moved to sitting on my chest. My legs felt like they could run a mile with my feet never touching the ground. As the afternoon turned into evening, my hands started to feel numb. I knew exactly what was happening. My head kept trying to tell my body, you will be fine. Jay was reassuring that I would be fine. I told Jay, “My head knows everything you are saying, but my body does not!”

    We have an oximeter at home, which if you do not have one, get one. It measures your pulse and heart rate. Every thirty minutes I would ask Jay for the oximeter. My rates were normal.

    I took a bath thinking it would surely relax me. All it did was raise my heart rate and send me outside to the cold to attempt to bring my body temperature down. Trust me, during this entire time I was doing breathing exercises. Breathe in through your mouth, hold for 4 seconds, exhale slowly and repeat.

    Jay kept asking me why I would not take the Xanax I have that is prescribed for this very thing! In my mind, Xanax would suppress my breathing and I was trying to explain to him that the cure for my anxiety would cause me MORE anxiety. Is it going to be this way every February? That was my thought.

    What is my fear? Taking medications that slow my breathing because I am afraid to go to sleep. This started for me at age 18 after the loss of my father and when someone stole my identity to seek drugs. Once a pattern of anxiety comes into your life, it just does not go away. You have to learn to control it, daily.

    About 7:30 p.m., Jay came to sit closely by me on the couch and hold my hand as we watched American Idol. After beginning to take my nighttime meds (that also doubles as a medication for anxiety), I slowly began to calm. But I knew bedtime was coming. Night. My biggest fear.

    At 10:30 p.m. I went to bed praising the Lord for a calm spirit. As we do each night, Becky, Andrea (my best friends) and I were telling each other goodnight by text and Becky said, “Fear is a liar!” I immediately went to the song by Zach Williams – “Fear is a Liar”. I rebuked Satan and began to recite 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” I slept.

    Friends suffering with anxiety during these strange days, I see you. I hear you. I feel you. But so does our big God. I am not saying anxiety is gone, because today (Monday) it still lingers and I made it through the day with the help of Xanax. But I know when I go home I will be able to relax, nothing will happen to me, and I will sleep.

    If you suffer from anxiety like I do, I hope you know you are not alone. Anxiety is real and it is SCARY. That heart attack you feel is coming on is controllable. The best thing (next to Xanax), is to make sure you have a support system in place during this time. I could not have made the night without my husband. Trust me. I was crying and telling him if the Xanax did not work, he was taking me to the hospital! And you know what he said? Okay.

    Unfortunately, since I wrote this, my migraine returned on Tuesday. I immediately went to my pain doctor. Not only am I blessed with a wonderful husband, but I have a doctor who I have been with for over 30 years. Dr. Schnapp’s his first remark was, “Are you trying to kill yourself?” He said that the combination of all my medications caused a medication induced tachycardia event evidenced by the anxiety. I told him my oximeter said my heart was normal! He showed me how to record an EKG from my Apple Watch to my Iphone. Life changer. Advice – get an Apple Watch and use it if you have anxiety!

    “Anxiety might be your superpower, not your kryptonite. Changing my perception of my anxiety has helped me see that it doesn’t diminish my value in my career or as a parent, and might even enhance it.”  Alice Boyes Ph.D Psychology Today

    The reason for this blog is to say I am not ashamed I suffer from anxiety. I think I’ve been through quite enough in my lifetime to cause a little anxiety. I want YOU to know you are not alone. Anxiety is real. Even though you feel like you are on the edge of death, you are not. Remember to rest in the strength of His arms. “He is our comfort and strength, a very present help in time of trouble…though the mountains shake and the waters roar, we will not fear!” Ps. 46:1-3.

    “Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith. I don’t agree at all. They are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the Passion of Christ.” C. S. Lewis

    Grateful. Thankful. Blessed. Retirement of Joe Duncan.

    / livingthelifeofchrist / Leave a comment

    His name is Joe McDaniel Duncan. Not Joseph. Just Joe. Sometimes he has been weatherman Joe, Dr. Joe, Joey, and Muscles to some of his friends.

    As of March 1, 2020, we celebrated 21 years of our partnership at the law firm of Burch, Porter & Johnson. How do you just say, I’m walking away from this life I’ve known for 54 years. For me, it has been 32 years in the legal field. In the back of my mind I knew this day would come. Joe Duncan is retiring and next week is his last week. It’s time. Time for him to enjoy life with his wife, Lee, who has become one of my closest, dearest friends. I could write an entire blog about Lee and how she has become my prayer partner, my 2 a.m. friend, and the best older sister a person could ever had. I cherish the girl time we have together!

    • 21 Birthdays. Birthdays filled with unique gifts, love, and lunches at Paulette’s where K-pie is (“IS” because I don’t intend to stop) always shared between the three of us (me, Joe, and Lee). Unsweet tea, just like me.
    • 21 Christmases. So many bittersweet for the both of us, but they always spent most of their time in North Carolina (Lake Toxaway) and I was so glad when the first of the year came around. That meant a new year and a new beginning.
    • 21 Years of firm celebrations. The one thing I love about Burch, Porter & Johnson is that we like to celebrate and eat! It doesn’t matter what the occasion. If it was attorney/legal assistant related (Assistant’s Day, Bosses Day, Valentines, Christmas, someone’s birthday), we were never embarrassed to sit next to each other.
    • 21 Years of arguments and apologies. If there is one thing I learned working for an honest, ethical man is when you make a mistake, own it, no excuses and move on. But sometimes, there is just something in you that makes you say NO! If you know me, I have done that plenty over the last 21 years. But you can always say no in a loving way such as, “Don’t you think it would be better said this way?” I can count on one hand the number of times we have actually argued and he has made me fuming mad. When he tried to make up, I always knew it because he would come to my ledge with the biggest smile and say something like, “Your hair is pretty today.” What? Go away!

    The one thing I respect most about this man is that when he knows he is wrong, I do hear “I’m sorry, you were right”. But it is then followed by a joke because it doesn’t happen often.

    As I think about Joe’s retirement and how he will fill his time, I know what he will do.

    He will enjoy more walks with his two dogs Holly and Lily who happen to be such a big part of his heart (and mine too).

    He will be able to travel to see his grandsons play their ballgames, spend more birthdays, and holidays. They need their Papa Joe!

    Joe and Lee will spend so much time at their home in North Carolina. It’s beautiful and it is where they rest and enjoy friends who own houses in the mountains. They have blessed us by allowing us to escape Memphis and spend time there and the view from the lanai is breathtaking. I have so many pottery pieces in my home from there!

    Lastly, he will have all the time in the world to play as much golf as his heart desires! Travel for golf, watch golf, take lessons for golf, read about golf, you name it! More importantly, walk onto the course from his backyard and play golf with Lee. There is the Lee and Joe Duncan Rhodes (College) Invitational and they both will be able to take a more active role in the women’s golf tournaments and travel. He and Lee put so much time and love into the program and the girls at Rhodes College.

    There will be changes in so many lives. I will hear a sneeze, a cough. No, that’s not his because I know it. Laughter from down the hall in a conference room. No, that’s not his because I can hear it all over the office. When he laughs, he makes everyone smile or laugh too. When a client walks into the office, there is always a handshake or a hug. Something that has been lost.

    My alarm clock will not go off at 5:30 a.m. anymore. I know he won’t be at his desk at 6 or 7 a.m. and we won’t start working at 7:30 a.m. My phone won’t start dinging with emails from him around 6:30 a.m. because I have a special notification for his emails. Actually, there will not be the catching up about the weekend, sports, and everything we have going on in our lives or the list of things that need to be done for the day. He listens and we laugh. Sometimes there are tears. He lets me talk about Trey because he understands. He lost a son. He walked me through that nightmare. I could not have survived without his guiding hand.

    I remember the first time I ever walked in Joe Duncan’s office and I saw a framed picture of Isaiah 40:31. I knew it wasn’t a coincidence that we both had the same favorite scripture.

    “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up as eagles with wings.”

    There has never been a time that we were uncomfortable talking about what God was doing in our lives or the world around us. Matter of fact, without his advice, I know I would have made a lot of bad decisions along the way.

    As odd as it may sound, the thing I will miss most is over the years we have been able to pick up on how each other feels at first glance in the morning.

    Lisa: “Do you have a headache?”

    Joe: “YES!,I woke up with it and couldn’t go back to sleep. So I just came on in to the office.”

    Lisa: “Have you taken anything?”

    Joe: “Not yet, but I’m about to with my coffee. Is yours hurting?”

    Lisa: “Just a little. Is it going to rain?” Joe immediately turns to his computer.

    Joe: “Let’s look at the radar.”

    Joe and I both suffer from migraines. We have both tried every concoction and recommended treatment known to man. I cannot emphasize how good God is to have given me a person to work for who understands when you say, “Okay, I’m done, my brain can’t take anymore.”

    Funny fact is that before I came to Burch, Porter, a friend of mine told me that I shouldn’t come work for him. I couldn’t imagine why. I told them I wanted to try because sometimes it just takes the right people to click. Who knew the bond that would be created between our families? During that time, I learned he was only four years out from grieving the loss of his son which was never talked about. Never. Until I lost my own.

    When I started, he instructed me to put drafts he needed to read on the edge of his desk. I remember quietly walking in his office because his back would be to me and sliding the paper on the edge. I think I ran out of the office before he could see me. Friends in the office said that he had taken a previous assistant’s typewriter away until she got her filing done. Seriously? Bahaha! (Yes, we were even using the dos system then.)

    His office was on one side of the building and mine was on the other. But there was NO mistaking that voice calling loudly, “LeeSA.” (Oh, crap). And I ran saying, “I’m coming!” That call down the hall has still continued to this day. And I still go running. Respect.

    We moved into a new building several years later and that is where we have been for many years. We would work late, prepare for divorce trials, will contests, but something developed during those hard-working years. Joe and I became what he called a well-oiled machine. I knew what he wanted before he asked, could finish his sentences, remembered phone numbers and names for him, and it made his practice, I hope, a little easier. I was (am) his assistant, paralegal, court runner, any title he needed at the time. We were (are) partners. After losing Trey, I looked back on that time of first working for Joe and it made sense because I was doing exactly what he was doing, just trying to work and make it through the day.

    God has a purpose for all things. There is no doubt He brought us together for many reasons and stories for both families that will last a lifetime. This well-oiled machine is being put on the shelf after a lifetime warranty of good work, replaced parts, and oil changes from time-to-time. To be honest with you, I bet you can imagine I am not dealing with this very well. I could use the prayers, as could Joe and Lee. There have been many, many tears lately and will be many next week. I guess I’m getting old because I don’t like change, especially this one. I will forever work for Lee and Joe Duncan. He is not my employer or boss – he has always been my partner, mentor, confidant, father-figure, and most of all, best friend.

    Happy Birthday to the man that can tear the phone book in half and jump flat-footed onto the top of the counter at work. You will always amaze me. I love you both.

    Circa Christmas 2009

    xmas 2008

     

    4838-4796-0252, v. 1

    A Pure Heart is Better Than Purell!

    / livingthelifeofchrist / Leave a comment

    He slept. His cheeks were as red as Washington apples in August. There had not been much movement, only quiet sleep. During the night he spiked a fever and we headed to St. Jude. When we arrived, we realized he was down to 113 pounds. Yet the doctors still did not know what was causing this sudden fever. Cancer.

    Fast forward to March/April 2020. You are sitting in a room with a St. Jude child, their family, and the child is dying. The doctor is there, nurse practitioner, and the mother is falling apart. If you are the nurse practitioner, what do you do? This mother, just like Mary, is watching her child die before her eyes. It was not her choice nor did she cause it. The room is spinning and she doesn’t know what to do except cry in pain for her child. The nurse practitioner, breaking all rules of social distancing, finally grabs the mother and holds her while she cries. She said that the mother dissolved into the human touch and love she offered. Yet she still wore her gloves and gown….Think about the children at St. Jude during this time not being able to see their parents during treatments. Not this mother.

    Purell. Purify. Purity. Pure.

    Purell is an advanced instant hand sanitizer that kills more than 99.99% of most common germs. It is an alcohol-based hand sanitizer and works in as little as 15 seconds! That’s better than Mr. Clean! But as you continue to break down the word, do you know that there is a purity test you can take to see how pure you are according to today’s worldliness? Well that’s important! Not. Pure. I also think of Pure Cane Sugar. Heaven. No contamination.

    I have honed in on James 4:8 and what the bible says about purifying ourselves.

    “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

    As with most of the world, my mind has been whirling as we have been experiencing something we will probably never experience again in our lifetime. The Corona virus has infiltrated homes and disrupted lives to the point of loss, despair, and anxiety. This last week, I heard a commercial on the television while I was in the kitchen. I do not remember if it was the news talking about the Nashville St. Jude Run or the St. Jude Home, but I immediately slammed my fists on the granite countertop and said,

    “I’m tired of hearing about St. Jude!” Jay was shocked.

    I should be yelling about the Plexaderm commercial. (Ya’ll, that has got to go!) But it was just one of those days that I finally let my feelings go that I normally do not express. Pain. Have you been pushed to the edge lately? I am so thankful for the mercy and grace of our Lord always.  We should be using this time to study His word to strengthen our faith.

    The common thing I am hearing from people is they want to experience more intentional relationships with each other, show love and gratitude (whether physical or not) when we step out of what seems to be a large bubble. For most of us, it will be very hard. Hard for those of us that are not normally people that step out and hug. But one thing I heard that struck me – compassion is not a sign of weakness. What about sympathy or empathy?

    We eventually were able to get Trey’s fever down 8 years ago this week. And he started packing for Hawaii. Whether it’s Covid or Cancer – hug your loved ones with a pure mind and a pure heart.

    “What I am eager for is that all the Christians there will be filled with love that comes from pure hearts, and that their minds will be clean and their faith strong.”

    1 Timothy 1:5

    Iphone 2017 447

     

    In St. Jude/Out St. Jude

    / livingthelifeofchrist / 2 Comments

    That day is very vivid in my mind. It was so hot as we sat in the car. It we just the two of us, Jay and I. July 5, 2012. We had just walked out of St. Jude for what we thought was the last time and left Trey’s sick cancerous body. We both looked at each other and said, “What are we doing to do now?” We had no idea where the next 7 to 8 years would take us and that it would keep us at St. Jude.

    Soon after Trey’s death, Dr. Sara Federico contacted us and set up an appointment for Collin to see her. We knew that he carried the same malignant melanoma gene that we believe caused Trey’s cancer. Dr. Sara told us that normally they send patients out for screening since they do not actively have cancer. Dr. Sara loves our family. She petitioned the powers that be and also because of Trey, Collin remained a St. Jude patient for screening. . .until February 19, 2020.

    What my head was saying in both instances was the right thing.

    “THIS IS WHAT IS NATURAL AND NEEDS TO HAPPEN!”

    But my heart had emotions swirling like a carousel at Disneyworld. The picture below shows Collin walking down a long hallway at St. Jude as we enter the Chili’s building to go to our car to leave. What you DON’T see is that he was so happy he was walking and weaving from one side of the hall to the other. No more Kid’s Kafe, no more patient number, no more little red wagons, and no more painted halls. Now, it will be West Cancer Clinic. Leaving with one child and left without one child.

    As I thought further when I took another picture through the windshield of St. Jude to go along with the 10 million I already have, our hospital is our church. How many of us leave our church, turn around, and feel sadness because of what life is handing us? Feeling cancerous.

    We drove away and didn’t chat much, but I kept thinking. Jesus is our healer, our Jehovah Raphah. This last week or two has been very hard on us because Jay had surgery on February 18, my mother died that afternoon, and Collin’s appointment was on the 19th. There has not been a time of whaling or crying over our mother. We were at peace because she wanted to see Jesus more than anything. We were at peace.

    I have the verse of the day sent to my phone each day and on February 26th it read, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matt. 5:4. I posted it on my Facebook story and said “You can’t make this stuff up.” I wanted people to know that God was comforting me and speaking to me in the most amazing ways and through friends and loved ones in our church. I actually got excited and began to think more about the church being the hospital and I began to pray that people would know that there are really genuine people in the church there to love and serve you and tell you about how Jesus can save you and give you the peace you so desperately desire.

    There are things in our life that we have let sin become a cancer and metastasis to other people in the church. We know their needs to be forgiveness and He is waiting to cure us of all the ugly diseases we carry.  There may not be healing, like with Trey, but he’s healthy in heaven. We know we do not have the power to save, only God. There will be changes, as with Collin. There will be more bad news of cancer, as with Jay. But I know, I KNOW, like I told someone else, He never promised us an easy road. He only promised to walk with us through the valleys. He’s got my hand! You need to grab it too!

    Psalms 23 – From the Message.

     God, my shepherd!
        I don’t need a thing.
    You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
        you find me quiet pools to drink from.
    True to your word,
        you let me catch my breath
        and send me in the right direction.

    4 Even when the way goes through
        Death Valley,
    I’m not afraid
        when you walk at my side.
    Your trusty shepherd’s crook
        makes me feel secure.

    5 You serve me a six-course dinner
        right in front of my enemies.
    You revive my drooping head;
        my cup brims with blessing.

    6 Your beauty and love chase after me
        every day of my life.
    I’m back home in the house of God
        for the rest of my life.collin st jude

    Bloom Where You Are Planted

    / livingthelifeofchrist / 6 Comments

    I can’t believe it has been since September that I have posted, but I know it has been that long that I have been struggling.

    I’m going to test your memory. Remember the test that you have taken to know what spiritual gift you have? You may have the gift of  teaching, serving, giving, etc. Many people have more than one. Do you think that God changes these gifts in your life? This is an honest question.

    I have had several gifts for many, many years and I have felt a tug from God to go in another direction. How in the world do you say NO to using your gifts? This has caused sleepless nights, bad dreams, stress, until I began to pray about this certain activity.

    I was given an amaryllis plant at Christmas and I put it on my desk and I have watched it miraculously grow, produce what would turn out to be the most beautiful blooms. I walked into work last week and saw the plant in full bloom.

    I was doing my bible study last week and this jumped off the page at me:

    “Because we have Christ, no matter WHAT is going on around us, there is always a reason to rejoice. Because Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever;…”

    “Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever;…” I looked at the plant again and this phrase came to me – Bloom Where You Are Planted. Okay, so, what? I listened a little closer.  This plant requires NO water. It is not in a pot and is not in the ground. It made me ask the question of myself, where am I planted that I can pour out the beauty of Christ? I immediately started with the area I was struggling and a peace came over me to let it go.

    I have two areas right now that I feel responsible to concentrate on in my life; home and work. I have struggled over the last six months to be the person that writes the gratitude list, the person that journals in five colors (and spent too much money to try), that studies from three bibles, that is committed to two bibles studies, and even rearranged my dining room to have a study area.

    To be honest, my name is Lisa and I have tremors. I can barely write study notes anymore. I work 60 hours a week (hard). My husband and I need each other desperately during this time in our life to make it through his cancer battle and my migraines.  We just found out today he has another melanoma and there will be more surgery.  My son needs me and he is growing into a wonderful young man and I am SO proud. I need to be on top of my game at Burch, Porter & Johnson for many reasons.  A smile goes a long way.

    Bloom Where You Are Planted. . .

    “God has planted you where you are that you might be a blessing. He wants you to take deep root. He wants you to bear rich fruit. And if you will draw upon His spiritual power, He will enable you to be a blessing. Bloom where you are planted and bear fruit to the glory of God and the enrichment of others.

    God has blessed you with certain abilities so you may invest them in others and bring glory to Him. As you use your God-given talents, you glorify Him and bless others. Draw from God’s spiritual resources and let Him use you to enrich others. (Ps. 80:8-13)”

                                                                                              The Baker Publishing Group

    Yes, Lord. I hear you. I will strive to bloom where you have planted me as a wife, mother, and employee. Do not be afraid to step back, look, and bloom.

    (Yes, this is my plant pictured)

    flower

    Memphis, Let’s Talk… VOTE YES (Blog)

    / livingthelifeofchrist / Leave a comment

    There is an upcoming election on October 3 that is very important to the Memphis Fire and Police Department.  I’m sure if you have read or seen ANY kind of news, you are recognizing this topic.  With all of the rederic going back and forth, it really is simple. Who do you trust?

    I trust a man or woman that is going to run into a burning building to save my children.

    I trust a man or a woman who has been coughing for years due to the smoke they have been exposed to for me.

    I trust a paramedic or firefighter who knows the names of the regulars and tries to help them on the side, only to get the call on Christmas Day that they are frozen to death in the parking lot.

    I trust a paramedic who calms a pregnant woman in the back of his or her ambulance while she gives birth before they arrive at the hospital.

    I trust a police officer who would come to the aid of an elderly lady being mauled by a pit bull while paramedics try to save her.

    Can I give you more? Of course I can. But honestly, I want to know that the fireman that is being called on the other end of that 911 call is more concerned about ME than the fact that when he turns 65 (or has his 25 years in), he will have no benefits.

    Plain and simple – if my husband retired today after 25 years, he would have no health insurance.  He has paid in NO Social Security – only Pension.  Now, they have taken the pension away from new hires and given them a hybrid plan.

    So, Jon Stewart, I say thank you.  Thank you for what you did for the NYC 911 firefighters, paramedics and police.

    City of Memphis, will you stand behind those that serve you or those that make promises under the table? VOTE YES.

    Referendum: Local Option Sales Tax
    (vote for or against)

    Shall the ordinance to increase the sales and use tax in the City of Memphis by 0.5%, from 2.25% to 2.75% become operative?
    The proceeds of this 0.5% tax increase shall first be used to restore and maintain the health care benefits for Public Safety employees (employees and pre-65
    retirees of the Memphis Police Services and Fire Services Divisions) to the levels in effect as of July 1, 2014, and to restore and maintain the pension benefits of said employees hired prior to July 1, 2016 to the levels specified in the 1978 City of Memphis Pension Plan. Any remaining proceeds shall be used for street maintenance and/or pre-kindergarten education. All funds must be spent for the purposes designated above. These funds are to be used in addition to, and may not be used to replace or supplant, any current funding for the above purposes. Such tax shall be collected by the Tennessee Department of Revenue. A lawsuit for recovery of any tax illegally assessed or collected shall be brought against the City Treasurer of the City of Memphis.

    Kemp Conrad? No. Sir.

    One-half cent?

    • Will not matter when your husband grabs his chest and his eyes roll back in his head.
    • Will not matter when you smell something from the kitchen, hear the smoke alarms, and realize your children are at the other end of the house.
    • Will not matter when you receive a call from the MPD that there has been a car accident and your 16-year-old has been involved.
    • Will not matter when you see your neighbor’s car being broken into for the second time.
    • Will not matter to the mother when her child gets ahold of the gun in the house and shoots his sister.
    • Will not matter when they call you from the assisted living and tell you the paramedics have come to take your mother to the hospital because she has been in the bathroom floor for four hours and is bleeding (ask me).
    • Will not matter when the ambulance and paramedics arrive at the airport to transport your son to St. Jude for his final week of life.

    I would give a million dollars to change that final ride to St. Jude.  I guarantee one-half cent will not matter to the next parent.

    Bottom line – We all need the MPD and MFD – so don’t take them for granted!

    70996965_10215726974750484_6890340299814469632_n