Hey Buddy:

I tried to write a blog, but it just didn’t turn out like I wanted it.  It kinda sounded angry.  You know I’m not angry.  Just miss you.  Gosh, I’m already crying and I know you’re not happy about that.  Just tough.  Mom’s cry, Trey.  I don’t know why you never understood that.  Geez.

Remember two years ago when I prayed at the alter for you to walk on senior Sunday?  We both know that wasn’t what God had planned.  I accept that.  Doesn’t mean I have to like it all the time.  That was a tough day praying on the alter.  I knew then.  I skipped senior Sunday last year.  I’ll probably have to do the same thing this year.

I know you see all your friends planning for prom.  Knowing you, you would try to go dressed up like the guys from Dumb and Dumber.  It’s funny because I put a post on Twitter about prom and right after that, I started receiving texts from your friends telling me that they were thinking about you too.  It helps me to know I’m not alone in my thoughts about you.  I’m sure you’ll be doing your share of dancing in heaven anyway!  We know God gave us music also as a means of worship, and I KNOW how you love to worship.

A lot of your friends are stressing over papers, projects, tests, etc.  I’m glad that you don’t have to worry about that, so I guess that’s a good thing.  But on the other hand, they are wishing their year away.  It will be time they can’t get back.  It’s like the time I can’t get back with you.

Many of your friends are going to the same colleges. I wonder how long it will be before they are home.  That just happens.  If you were here, I’m not sure how far we would have wanted you to go either.  It has been very hard to not say anything because when they leave, the parents will experience just a touch of how your dad and I feel, except your friends will come home to wash clothes or get money.  I know a lot miss home.  Madison misses home.  I miss her.  I miss the girls.  Jules is busy with work and school.  I haven’t seen them in a while.  Saw Cojo Saturday and it made my day.

I know it just blows our mind that Collin is going to graduate 8th grade and I registered him for high school.  That was a tough day.  I’m so glad all I had to do was walk in and walk out.  Do you remember at your 8th grade graduation when Jamie, Chris, Tim and I think Austin drew TREY on their stomachs and stood in the balcony and yelled your name as you walked across the stage? Oh that was a hoot! What a memory. I need to find that picture.  I bet that won’t be done at the CHS graduation.  That will be a tough day, but I will be there.  In my heart, you will be there sitting with your class and I know you are in their hearts.

You’ll be at their graduation parties, at the Baccalaureate, and the senior picnic.  I miss you Buddy, every minute of every day.  It’s hard not to trivialize what everyone else deals with, but I have to remember that everyone has their own share of problems that they see as their own mountain.  I am thankful that God is a God to all of us that understands and meets our needs where we are.

We are going on an Under Authority choir trip this weekend.  I’ll sure miss you then too.  We’ll be singing one of your favorites and I can’t help but smile.  I see you doing the hand motions and Ron just shaking his head.  It’s those memories and those times that I hold on to.  This keeps me going buddy, hope.  Hope in Christ that I will soon see you again.  There will be no schedules, no college, no graduations, and an amazing party that will continue for eternity.  We’ll all celebrate the glory of God and worship together.

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12  I’m trying…and I am thankful…

I love you, Mama

All My Fountains by Chris Tomlin

This dry and desert land
I tell myself, “Keep walking on”
Hear something up ahead
Water falling like a song
An everlasting stream
Your river carries me home
Let it flow, let if flow

A flood for my soul
A well that never will run dry
I’ve rambled on my own
Never believing I would find
An everlasting stream
Your river carries me home
Let it flow, let it flow

Open the heavens
Come Living Water
All my fountains are in You
You’re strong like a river
Your love is running through
All my fountains are in You

Come on, and rain down on us
Rain down on us, Lord