Unworthy (Blog)

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7

I have a confession.  While driving to work this morning, I was talking with God and simply asked Him for blessings (keeping the particulars private).  All of a sudden a wave of tears came over me and I began to cry out to God, “Why am I asking for blessings when I feel so unworthy?”

Do you ever feel unworthy of God’s blessings when life is hitting you hard each day?

In Rick Warren’s Four Laws of God’s Blessings, he says, “When you care about helping other people, God assumes responsibility for your problems. And that’s a real blessing, for He’s much better at handling your difficulties than you are.”

Whoa.

In reading Rick’s quote, my thought is, am I holding on to something I need to let go of in order to receive a blessing.  As a matter of fact, (transparency here), when I was praying, through my tears, I told God that I just could not ask for a blessing when I am still hurting about Trey.  Am I playing a little blame game here? Certainly not me?  I immediately cut off my conversation off with God.

As I pulled in my parking garage, God clearly spoke to me and reminded me of the Beatitudes.

Matthew 5:3-11

 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

 “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.”

 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.”

 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”

 “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

 “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

 “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Blessed…Blessed…Blessed.

I realized I am worthy of God’s blessings because I am His child.  God desperately wants to hear from us as His children, even through our tears.

I have shed quite a few tears these last two weeks because of the anniversary of Trey’s death.  It never gets easier with time.  Trey’s words resonate in my mind from his testimony.  “I’m not doing anything but sending out a tweet from a bible verse I read that day and all the glory goes to God in everything.  I’m not inspiring anybody.  I’m being used by God and I’m just wanting all the glory to go to him and none, none, none to me.”

Trey just wanted God’s will to be done.  Isn’t that what we all want? Trey didn’t ask to be blessed. When Dustin May asked a few of us to describe the blessing we receive when we serve, what would we say.  I told him the blessing I receive is seeing God glorified. I have definitely seen God’s glory over the last four years.

As I have thought more and more this morning, I am reminded of the awesome power God gives us to go forth WITH His blessings to minister to others. I am also reminded of the part satan plays to tell us that we are NOT worthy of anything God has to offer.  He tells us lies from the pit of hell!

So YES! I AM WORTHY because I serve a risen Lord who died for my sins. And no matter what, through joy, heartache, and pain, Thy Will Be Done.

This song is my heart and deepest prayer as we face Trey’s birthday on July 31.  He would have been 20.  Jay and I will be out of town on his birthday for our anniversary and I pray that our friends will surround Collin and our family that day with love and prayers.  YOU still bless us with your outpouring of love and support.  #weareblessed

Beach family

 

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