Jay and I recently got home from a cruise celebrating our 35^th wedding anniversary. Yes, as of August 10, we will be married 35 years. We usually travel with family, but this was the one time we wanted time to ourselves on a trip that we both had dreamed of and deserved greatly.

If anyone has travelled with me (or my sister), you know that we are both OVERLY organized, OCD organized. It started with our first trip to Hawaii in 2010 (I think) with preparing a spreadsheet of everything we were going to do each day. Each trip since that time, I have prepared a spreadsheet (and Donna too). Before spreadsheets, I had index cards for each day on a ring that I took into the Disney parks (more than once). NO LIE! What I love most is that Jay has come to appreciate my spreadsheets and when he wants to know a reference number, etc., he’ll ask for the spreadsheet. A few tidbits about our trip:

• If you cruise a lot, you know about cruise ducks. We had a trade event with our Facebook group. I saw a duck with a stethoscope and said – Oh, I want that for my husband. The lady (Sonia) who brought the duck to trade took me to the side and said, that is for my son Austin who was an EMT killed at age 23 in the line of duty. My heart sank and I told her about Trey. She said, you need to join a FB group called While You Are Waiting. I said, I AM in that group. We just giggled at God’s hand brought us together so unexpectantly to talk about our children when others will not.

• Because we all know that Jay does not need to be in the sun, I reserved (and paid for) two cabanas on the ship that would keep us out of the sun on sea days. On the first day for a Cabana, the whole 16^th floor of the ship was closed due to wind. Okay, I get it, but what is the replacement? A lady I had just met and was sitting by at the pool said – Oh, I bet you’ll get it handled. I thought that was an odd comment. I did get an officer, and he explained how it had been refunded to our account and they could not control the weather. Okay, fine. Jay went to the room, and I stayed out and fried, literally.

• Next cabana day, I went to check in and there was NO ERWIN ROOM 9662. WHAT! I was so sunburned they could see how red my face was. An officer had the GALL to offer us lunch or dinner. I told him that was an insult because we have already PAID for lunch and dinner. I said – I have an idea. I opened the Royal Caribbean app and said – see this day bed on Chill Island? How about you arrange for us to be under THAT cover tomorrow. He said he would check into it. Later I went to guest services and the information provided was that we would have a CABANA on Chill Island (much nicer). I thought, RC, you have made up for your mistakes!

• Our day at Coco Cay – It was beautiful. The wind was blowing and the ocean was turquoise blue and clear as bath water. We get to the check-in booth for the Cabanas. Guess what. NO ERWIN ROOM 9662. I deflated like a slow leaking balloon. After phone calls, long discussions, it was discovered that we had a DAY BED on the other side of the beach. At this point, Jay and I didn’t care, just get us there. It ended up being one of the most relaxing days for me, and Jay had to keep waking me up because I was snoring.

• Every night after dinner we were in our room by 8 p.m., exhausted from the day. We did play cards, but Jay would watch hockey or basketball and I slept. I did make a remark – Gee, just like at home. We only saw one (water) show. We did have some after dinner ice cream, but no shows, no bands, no bingo, but a lot of walking the Promenade with people trying to sell you used Louis Vitton.

• By day seven, we were ready to go home. Jay had teased me all week how my organization had turned VERY unorganized and I was very flustered. I cancelled the rental car we had for the day the ship docked. We went to the airport hoping we could move up our 7 p.m. flight. We got a 10 a.m. flight and had to pay the difference for economy because I got such a deal for First Class (Yes, points help). Collin picked us up at 2:30 p.m. We were glad to be home.

    All of these events were not lost on me. I wasn’t mad (well, except the cabanas), but it was like GOSH, this was not what I wanted! Did I expect a perfect trip according to my spreadsheet, no. I can’t think of one trip that was perfect. I have questioned myself of how I can wake up every morning knowing that the day will not go as planned but expect something I planned down to the minute gets thrown in the air. I think God is laughing. Did I just go on vacation and not think God would have a hand in every detail?

    I look back on the week, and I don’t think once I looked out at the beautiful ocean and said – thank you God for this beauty. (Except for swimming with the turtles.) I think I took all the luxuries for granted and did not acknowledge God at all. Evidently my attitude showed it when the lady KNEW I would get down to the bottom of the Cabana issue.

    While I want to LIVE expectantly for God’s mercy and grace, I should not expect His blessings on all my plans. Does that make sense? I sure expected the white picketed fence with three children, a dog, and a wonderful marriage. Why? Because that is what I prayed for. That is not what God gave me. I never expected to lose my dad when I was a teenager. I never expected to lose my first-born child to cancer. I never expected to live a family life with cancer. How does God prepare us for things to come we never expect. His word prepares us and that’s one thing I abandoned when planning this trip – the what if’s. Did I choose joy every day? Probably not. But there were a lot of personal lessons learned. You cannot go ANYWHERE and not take God with you. You truly are going into the mission field when you leave the church property and all your plans are in God’s hands. I’m thankful He takes care of me and I am not responsible for myself, because I would fail miserably. Here is to the next two vacations this summer with NO spreadsheets or plans!

“I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.” Phil. 1:20

My prayer for each day should be:

“Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Rom. 8:26

God, go before us. Fight for us in ways we cannot see. Bring peace where there is tension, and restoration where there is division. We trust You to handle what we cannot. And we thank You in advance for the peace You are releasing over our lives. Heal the sick and we beg for relief for those suffering with cancer. We pray this, expecting your blessings. Cover us by the blood of Jesus Christ with every step and thought. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.

Them: “Don’t you know that song?”
Me: “No. Sorry, I only know a little country.”
Them: “Then what do you listen to! Gosh!”
Me: “Well, I listen to The Message on XM.”
Them: “What in the world is The Message?”
Me: “Christian music.”
Them: “Oh.”

Have you ever had this conversation? Sometimes, it can be uncomfortable. But other times, I really don’t care. I raised my kids on K-Love and I would like to think that is how the word of God got into their hearts…music.

Jay and I raised our kids reading them devotions at night, daily and nightly prayers, doing all the things Christian parents should do. All the while, never imagining how our lives would be 10 to 20 years down the road.

When Trey got his first phone (6^th grade – remember the flip phones that you had to push the numbers 20 times to just make a word?) there was no such thing as texting. Boy, have we come a long way. Once texting hit the scene, I went from putting notes in their lunch (which I’m sure Collin won’t remember) to texting them to say I was praying for them, scripture, or just HAVE A GOOD DAY! Sometimes, I would get OK or THANKS. Sometimes, no response. Collin did not have a phone at the time, but many times when I sent Trey scripture, his response would be – “Wow Mom! That’s so cool!” My heart would swell knowing all the years of radio and prayers had made a difference.

I still send Collin scripture, devotions, and recently the YouTube video of Big Daddy Weave’s Redeemed. Oddly enough, I actually questioned myself afterwards – “Why did I do that!” because you never want to push your child away. But the words pierced my soul, not only for myself, but for him and my family:

Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then you look at this prisoner and say to me
“Son, stop fighting a fight, its already been won”
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain
That I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I’m redeemed
All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear you whisper “Child, lift up your head”
I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet!

I say all this to say, don’t stop feeding your children, spouse, friend, anyone who needs to hear the word of God. I have to tell myself, it’s not my responsibility to make sure they listen to it or read it – only that I feed it to them when God prompts me.

Don’t give up! You might go years without a “Thanks” but one day, you’ll get that “HOW COOL” and you’ll know everything you have fed them, the Holy Spirit used to penetrate their heart.