Today I had my physical.  You know, those visits you are supposed to have every year, but I have flown under the radar and have seemed to get away with not going in for about two or three years.  Luckily, my internist, is a friend of ours, Art Franklin, or better known as Dr. E. Arthur Franklin.  He and Jay worked together years ago at the Baptist Minor Meds before he went into practice, and when he did, we decided to follow him.  All I can say is, great physician, great guy.

I think we spent more time talking about Trey today than we did me.  That was okay with me, but I think we both knew that Trey has a lot to do with what is going on with me physically.  Am I getting enough sleep and is it quality sleep? How are my migraines? What about my fatigue? Is my depression better?  What is my blood pressure, EKG, blood work, chest x-ray, etc.  We went down each road one by one.  Some roads I didn’t mind traveling and some brought many tears.

Dr. Franklin asked a very good question.  What has been the dumbest question anyone has asked you over the last year or anyone has said?  I just had to laugh and I told him that no one has ever asked me that!  I really had to sit and think!  But it came to me and when I told him, we both agreed.  I distinctly remember receiving a telephone call from someone I did not know and they told me I was making a mistake by choosing the coarse of treatment that we did.  I don’t blame them for trying to help, it’s just the way they went about it.  At the time of Trey’s diagnosis, people came out of the woodwork for what they thought was best for Trey.  Dr. Franklin agreed with our philosophy.  The latest and GREATEST medical news for cancer would be known by St. Jude and West Clinic within days of anyone else knowing it.  It was not like someone would be withholding the cure for pancreatic cancer in order to punish millions of people.

And then we watched a recent football video I have.  I told him of how I look at so many pictures daily and to watch him move like that is just odd.  Then came another question I just have not thought of.  He asked me would I rather remember him during those days or have the memories of the last four months.  What a hard question.  The memories that are most vivid are of his last four months, but I would much rather have vivid memories of his laughter with his friends, seeing him running down the football field, worshipping in church, wrestling with his dad, and playing basketball with his Uncle T and Bobby.  As hard as I try, I can’t regain those memories.  My plans are to find as many videos as I can to recall memories.  You know, that’s my fear, that I will forget.

Dr. Franklin then said something about parenting and we were talking about Collin and he said he bet it was hard to scold Collin for that bad grade, etc.  And I said, oh just the opposite! If anything, we have learned to continue living life. Sometimes that is actually the most difficult thing to do.  We are trying, as hard as it may be, we are trying.  It is a tug-of-war game, I feel like at times. There are day that you are tugged into the past and days that you pulled into the present. Then there are days you don’t want to be pulled into either and you just want people to leave you alone.  I asked the question of Pastor Charles last week if I could just pull the covers over my head – his answer was no.  It seems he and my doctor agree.  YOLO – You Only Live Once is not an excuse to make bad decisions.  Fact is, we only have one life and one day, we will stand before God to be held accountable for the life we lived.

I left knowing only a few things.  I still have a broken heart.  Something a medical doctor will not be able to heal. Many things come with that broken heart, but it is up to me as to how I handle the side effects.  Here is where Dr. Franklin will help me manage those side effects. I am so thankful for the trust I have in my physician on earth and the Great Physician, my Heavenly Father.  Both know what is best for me and it’s not the latest diet pill! (Darn)  With God as my Great Physician, he is in the process of healing many things from the last year.  As Dr. Franklin said, he would never begin to put himself in our position, even though he has recently experienced some his elder patients dying.  As I told Dr. Franklin, there are many things I hope to speak into people’s lives that are walking down paths where they think there is no hope.  If my God, who is so great, can use what we have experienced for good, then I have no choice but to speak up and use what He has given us.

Dr. Franklin was in the room with me today when I got the news that mom will be going into a new assisted living residence and she received her apartment number.  Her apartment number is 13.  We both just grinned! He knew it was Trey’s number.  How cool is that!

Tomorrow, I’m taking my apple to work, with a little low fat caramel, and my sweet conversation with my physician to work with me.  I will be praying for a little more energy, which we are working on, and fewer headaches.  Today, I am thankful for Dr. E. Arthur Franklin.  A friend to our family, a doctor to my husband, me, my mother, and others in my family.  That apple won’t keep me away.  Like he told me today, if you need me and you just don’t feel right, call me.  That I will Art Franklin, that I will.

“These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”
John 16:32-33