I have received so many sweet contacts over the last two months. A young college girl contacted me a couple of days ago about her father. Her father was just admitted to hospice and the young girl knows her father does not have long for this earth. Oh, I forgot to mention he has pancreatic cancer. Her main worry is not so much about his well being, but about his faith. This young girl loves the Lord and knows what it means to have Jesus as her Savior. Her worry is that her father would not spend eternity with the Lord. After several exchanges of messages, I told her I would try to stop by the hospice unit on my way home from work yesterday.
I had so many things on my mind on the way home yesterday. I knew we were not going to be able to go to church because Collin had a project due, he had a doctor’s appointment; I was running late from work, etc. As I approached the entrance of 385, it dawned on me what I had told this young girl. I would go by to see her father after work. I called Jay and told him what I was going to do. He didn’t sound surprised, just a little leery of why. I told him that if anything happened to him and I didn’t stop, I would never forgive myself. I felt like I would have been disobedient to a call from God. I know people have said – how can she be so open and deal with all of this so soon after Trey’s death. All I can say is that my strength comes ONLY from the Lord and I am being obedient in everything that I am doing. I have never felt such an urgent need to advance the kingdom. That lesson came from the brave actions of my son.
The hospice unit was the same unit we were going to transfer Trey to shortly prior to his death. Yesterday was 2 months since Trey passed. I sat in my car and thought to myself, what am I doing, I have got to be crazy. And then I received a text from my pastor – He is able – therefore so are you! Okay, okay. I grabbed my bible and walked in the building.
As I walked in to Mr. Smith’s room (name protected), I was so thankful he was awake and alert because I knew he had been sleeping a lot. I introduced myself and he knew who I was because he began to cry. God put many things in the room for us to talk about. He is a UT fan! As I began to talk about his faith and his daughter, the lady that was sitting with him excused herself. We discussed his salvation in depth and he believed in Jesus and that he was going to heaven. Then he asked me the oddest question. “Do you think that I am sick?” I said, “Well, I am only a momma, not a doctor, but just by looking at you I think you might be a little sick.” Mr. Smith was very jaundice. He still had some hair. More than most men I know. I ended our visit by telling him to trust in the doctors and trust in our Lord. We held hands and prayed. I prayed for a peace that would calm all his questions. We both cried a little.
I left the unit and felt an overwhelming peace of doing God’s work. But yet the question he asked still haunted me – “Do I look sick?” I thought about that in terms of my own life. If someone looked at me, would they know by my appearance that I was a Christian? Would they know by my actions, my words, my tweets, and my dress? Or do I look sick? Am I weary, worried, sad, angry, and unhappy? And then my heart sank. I thought of Trey. Yes, there were days he looked sick. Jay and I were talking last night that we were so blessed that he kept his hair and we did not have to deal with the jaundice. God blessed us in SO many ways. He had so many days he was joyful…content in his circumstances.
Satan tempts us every chance he gets to advance sickness in our lives. It can be in the form of mental turmoil, physical pain, or his greatest attempt is our spiritual development. The only way to fight the sickness of Satan is to be girded with the word of God. I have this scripture taped on my computer:
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.” Ps. 51:12
My prayer for you is that if you are suffering in sickness, you will be able to identify your illness and combat it with the word of God and remain in contact with Him in prayer. His word will not come back void. Never. #dontmissjesus